Since blog visitors rarely click on links or comments, I pulled these two comments from yesterday’s post, “How the gingrich stole the election.” Enjoy!
MR. FRODO:
Out of Pennsylvania to the land so sultry;
Came our hero to practice his adultery.
At the same time consuming ice cream and beer,
He published his Contract and kissed his own rear.
From the back of the plane he shut us all down,
Then shot us the bird when he left our town.
To the zoo he left his lizards and snakes,
From our pockets it was money to Washington he takes.
As a character it's known he's really a beaut,
Is the adulterous glutton who's known as Newt.
'Tis from Satan he's actually been sent,
From this spot best it is that he went.
So, now he wanders freely,
Seeking companions for his Sealy.
Getting his followers all hot and bothered;
It is political discord that he's fathered.
JAN:
Newt's adultery corroded his family.
It paralleled Clinton's infamy,
Which Newt cried, "Impeach!"
This Commander in Chief.
He's sullied our dance
Of Republican morality stance.
He lost his last bid as House Speaker,
Tucked tail, left with his power much weaker.
His immorality brought forth by truth seeker,
Who deflated his inflated ego balloon,
Exposing the world to this cheeky buffoon.
His ambitions returned like a godsend.
He made a beeline to James Dobson
To plead for adultery absolution,
"Tell the world to forgive me my sin,
And sanction me the Oval Office to win."
"You admitted your error," said Dobson.
"Three marriages should be not a problem."
"We all stick together, through all kinds of weather,"
Said Newt, "and you'll see that my message will be,
Our morals are 'Focus On The Family'."
***
Care to leave a little rhyme?
Any subject, take your time.
If we can’t have fun on this spinning sphere,
Then what the heck are we doing here?
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2 comments:
BY WAY OF EXPLANATION, a former Atlanta Falcons football player named Andre "Bad Moon" Rison was dating a rap singer named "Left Eye" Lopes. Unfortunately, he was also dating everyone else with the requisite genitalia. Enraged, "Left Eye" showed up at "Bad Moon's" palatial home in the Atlanta suburbs, and promptly burned it to the ground. Frodo penned the following, to the tune of any RAP song you've ever heard:
"His name was Andre,
He play dat funky game.
He bopped on da rapper,
His house went up in flame."
Perhaps we could initiate a "Compose a Rap Song For Fun and Profit Contest" as our way of striking back.
Ode to an Onion
by B.J. Trotter
Sweet, pungent onion, so maligned.
You, on whom I've often dined,
Are such a succulent treat to eat
You put the "bon" in "bon appetit!
Such a wonder from a little sprout grew.
I can't imagine a meal without you.
While others yearn for fame and wealth,
I know you help me keep my health
By keeping all those germs at bay
When people stand five feet away.
I'll savor you until my dying breath
Although it now puts others to death.
Life without onions, who can imagine?
Honestly, they're my only sin!
So, to you, my onion-hating friend,
These words of wisdom I will lend:
"Enjoy whatever pleases your taste,
And when your Maker you have faced,
Be told, "Good, you loved all I've done
Including My lowly little onion."
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