There once was a Gingrich named Newt,
Who bided his time in pursuit
Of his party’s nod,
And, then, by God,
He would beat the Dems to boot.
He teased a Russert named Tim,
And this was just on a whim,
He’d be back in the fall
If he’d made the call
To sell the nation on him.
By then “the base” would be sick
Of the slate from which they’d pick
The one for the ticket,
And Newtie would trick it
Into thinking his platform would click.
Taxes for all he would cut.
He’d protect their collective butt,
Rally the right,
Give Dems a fight,
And restore morals (tut-tut).
Fox News would call it the truth.
Voters would race to the booth.
If Seuss were alive,
He’d not buy this jive,
And change my title, forsooth.
Bush’s days are six hundred and ten,
So work really hard, my friend,
To stop the insanity
In behalf of humanity.
May the best man or woman win!
© B.J. Trotter 2007
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2 comments:
Out of Pennsylvania to the land so sultry;
Came our hero to practice his adultery.
At the same time consuming ice cream and beer,
He published his Contract and kissed his own rear.
From the back of the plane he shut us all down,
Then shot us the bird when he left our town.
To the zoo he left his lizards and snakes,
From our pockets it was money to Washington he takes.
As a character it's known he's really a beaut,
Is the adulterous glutton who's known as Newt.
'Tis from Satan he's actually been sent,
From this spot best it is that he went.
So now he wanders freely,
Seeking companions for his Sealy.
Getting his followers all hot and bothered;
It is political discord that he's fathered.
---Mr. Frodo, '07
Newt's adultery corroded his family
It paralleled Clinton's infamy
Which Newt cried, "Impeach!"
This Commander In Chief.
He's sullied our dance
Of Republican morality stance.
He lost his last bid as House Speaker,
Tucked tail, left with his power much weaker.
His immorality brought forth by truth seeker,
Who deflated his inflated, ego balloon
Exposing the world to this cheeky buffoon.
His ambitions returned like a godsend.
He made a beeline to James Dobson.
To plead for adultery absolution
"Tell the world to forgive me my sin,
And sanction me the oval office to win."
"You admitted your error," said Dobson
"Three marriages should be not a problem."
"We all stick together, through all kinds of weather,"
Said Newt, "and you'll see that my message will be,
Our morals are 'Focus On The Family'."
Jan
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